Pretty churchy

Yesterday, I went to church in Gangnam.  It was a church I have heard about from several of my friends, and since I had to go to Seoul for a conference on Saturday, I figured I’d just stay the night and check it out. I am so, so glad that I did.  First of all, it’s huge.  They have three English services. There were over 200 people at the service I was at, and people kept making comments about where all the people were, must have gotten an early start on the holiday or something, which leads me to believe there are probably twice that many people that normally go to that service. There were a ton of Koreans, but a lot of foreigners, too, from all over the world.   There were straight, strong, American men with no Korean girls on their arms.  Men praying for each other, talking about their small groups.  I cried the whole time, obviously.  The band was awesome, and of course, as always happens when I go somewhere new or try out something different, they started with “Bless the Lord O my Soul,” which is my favorite worship song.  It’s like when I hear that, I know I’m in the right place.  The pastor was fantastic.  He must be Korean-American.  He has no accent at all, and I know he was a youth minister in California for a time.  The sermon was a DIRECT ANSWER to something I’ve been questioning, and even having conversations about with some friends.  I saw a couple videos of healing services a couple of weeks ago…the super charismatic kind, where there are thousands of people and everyone is crying, and the guys on stage are healing by “fire” and whatever else they yell, and I was really having a hard time with it.  It seemed so fake and like such a show, I was really turned off.  I don’t even know if I believe that healing still occurs like it did in Jesus's time.  Anyway, the sermon was on a passage in Acts, about the Holy Spirit.  Peter is quoting the prophet Joel, talking about how in the end days, God will pour out his spirit, and people (men and women) will prophesy in His name, men will see visions and dream dreams, there will be wonders above and below.   Then the Pastor spoke about the gifts we receive when the holy spirit comes on us.  And he said, “just because a gift has been abused and misused, doesn’t mean it should be obliterated, especially if the Bible doesn’t say it.”  He specifically brought up the example of all the people that do the huge healing services and stuff, and he said he came from a church like that. But he began to notice in himself that it wasn’t about God anymore. As these things were happening, he started to get this, “I’m so anointed!” feeling.  Anyway, then he told a separate story about being with a bunch of 7^th grade boys in a youth group, and he just felt like God was telling him to pray for them, someone was sick.  He said, “I’m not trying to be mystical, just telling you what happened.”  So he asked the boys what was going on, if anyone was sick or hurting, and one of the boys said that he had been going to a chiropractor twice a month for as long as he could remember, because one leg was shorter than the other.  So he prayed for him.  And his leg came out.  And the 7^th graders saw it.  And the pastor called him days later and told him not to do that kind of thing anymore, because the boy’s mom was scared!    He later called and apologized, realizing that if God was going to do something so amazing, they should be thankful.  It just really spoke to me…just because people may be misusing or abusing the gifts God has given them, it doesn’t mean that those gifts aren’t real, and they shouldn’t be used at all. 

I felt God's love like I haven't in a long time.  That He would care enough to answer my specific question…and the power of that just overwhelmed me. And I realized that so many things about me need to change.  No matter how much I say I love God, and how much things have changed in my life, I still haven’t learned to deny myself.  Denying myself isn’t fun, and I don’t want to do it, but isn’t that the point?  In this book I’m still reading, “not a fan,” the pastor/author talks about that very thing. The chapter I read today was about a couple at his church that wanted to become members, but because they were not married and living together, they couldn’t.  The pastor told them that we don’t have to have our lives together to come before God, or to come to church, but as followers of Jesus, we have to be willing to repent.  The woman was mad and said they weren’t going to do that.  The pastor said, “They wanted to be called Christians without actually making an effort to follow Christ.”  Now, I know that being a “Christian” isn’t about what we do.  It is by grace we are saved, and that is that.  However, if after we are “saved,” we aren’t doing anything differently, are we really saved?  Do we really love someone that we refuse to do anything for? Can we show love when we only want to do what our selfish desires are seeking for us to do?  So, that is my lesson learned this week.  That is my conscious decision. There are certain areas in my life that I have been withholding from God.  I’ve been denying Him, and seeking only what my flesh wants.  I want to make an effort to follow what Jesus has called me to do.  I need to stop making unhealthy choices.  I need to focus on modeling for my five year olds how to handle their emotions instead of getting upset at them.  I need to become less addicted to coffee and Hot Six and more loving toward water and vegetables and fruit.  I want to continually be filled with the Holy Spirit, which means spending more time with God in the Word, and less time on my phone checking Facebook.  It means making a conscious effort to love people, not judge them or get angry with them.  I will fail miserably, because I’m not Jesus.  But God loves me and has given me his Spirit and has given me gifts, and I want to be a light to the people around me, not a downer.  I want to love people so they are drawn to my God, not scare them away, which also means I have to make different choices when it comes to what I do and say when I hang out with people I work with verses other believers.  
I realize that I can't do any of it on my own.  It is only through God that I have the desire to be better, and it is only through the Holy Spirit's power that I actually could be.  (That and a NutriBullet...MOM.) 

Headed to bed.  One more day of work and then a five day vacation thanks to the Korean Thanksgiving.  In case you're interested, here is the info on the church in Gangnam: http://newharvestsarang.org.

Also check out "not a fan." by Kyle Idleman.